Just Jump In Front Of A Train!

shallow focus photo of train rail
Photo by Johannes Plenio on Pexels.com

What up! What up! What up! What up y’all! Happy Tuesday and I hope that wherever you are, you are having a great morning, afternoon, evening or night. Enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens. Always keep it really real my peeps. On a sober note… Today marks my eight sober day and I feel fucking great. Last weekend was my first sober weekend in a while and I’m begging for more like it.

On another intrusive and violent OCD thought Note? Every time that I wait for the train to get to work and back home, I like to stay away from the platform edge. You see, the thing is, that sometimes I get these intrusive thoughts about jumping in front of an arriving train and getting hit. I can really see myself going through with it. It’s really fucked up, but that’s the reality of my OCD. Sometimes it gets so real, that my anxiety level goes all the way up to the top. The intrusive and violent thoughts are the only thing about my OCD, that I haven’t been able to even partially control. To be honest with you, I hate them to death, but the only thing that I can do to try to stop them is, to distract myself by doing or thinking about something else. They are just like uninvited guests, they just pop up in my mind whenever they want to and they also want to leave whenever they want to. They are just like that pesty family member of yours, that extends his/her welcome in your home.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!