What up! What up! What up my peeps! Today is Thursday July 26, 2018 and it means that I have been sober for one month and eight days or rather yet, thirty-eight days. As always, I feel like Tony the fucking tiger… GRRRRREAT! No anxiety, no depression, no hangover, no regrets… I mean nothing! I just hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Always try to enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.
On a feeling like shit note! To be honest with you, as I write this post, I felt like shit! Yes, you read that right… I felt like shit! The thing is, that for some stupid reason, society thinks that everyday, everybody has to feel happy. One thing that I don’t do when I feel like shit is, that I don’t go around fucking up everybody’s day, only because I feel fucked up. Another thing that I don’t do is, that I don’t go around telling people the whole day, how I feel. The one thing that I like to do when I feel like shit is, I like to keep away from people, because to be honest with you, I just don’t feel like listening to shit from nobody. Hey look, most of the time that I feel like shit, I don’t have an explanation for it. But the thing that I will not do is blame others or my mental disorders. Life has its up and down and I just have to deal with them as they come. The reality of it all was, that even if I felt like shit, I had to go to work and face life.
First things first my peeps! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening and good night. As always, enjoy your Saturday to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens, why it happens, how it happens or where it happens. On a drinking side of things, today marks my nineteenth day without alcohol and I feel like Tony the fucking tiger… GRRRRREAT!
On a morning depression and crazy meds note! When I saw my shrink Dr. C on Thursday, I did mention to him that I have felt like shit on Tuesday and Wednesday morning. I also told him, that I had just realized, that on Saturday and Sunday, I forgot to take my Prozac, because I was very busy. But we figured out, that since it takes a couple of weeks for Prozac to get out of my system, my mistake couldn’t have been the problem. When I got home that evening, I realized that maybe, just maybe, I think that I forgot to take my Risperidone for two nights in a row and that might have caused all the symptoms that I was experiencing those mornings. The thing is, that for one reason or another, sometimes I do forget to take my crazy meds, which I know I shouldn’t because when that happens, sometimes my brain starts to go bat shit crazy on me. I might have to set up an alarm on my phone, but I hate it because I feel like a fucking child. Sometimes I wish that I didn’t have to take the damn crazy meds, but the truth is… that it is what it is.
What up! What up! What up! What up y’all! I just want to say, that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours right now, have a good morning, good afternoon, good evening and good night. As always, enjoy your hump day to the fullest and don’t let nothing or nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.
On a morning depression note! As I write this post, I’m on my way to the salt mines (Work) and I’m really feeling like shit this morning. I’ve experienced what they call morning depression before, but I have not been able to figure out why it happens to me. I really, really feel like a worthless piece of shit right now. I just want to be left alone. I just don’t want to talk to nobody at all. I just fucking hate feeling like this. But I refuse to stay in bed and avoid any human contact. I also have a headache, but not even that is going to stop me. The thing is, that I am feeling mixed emotions, like anger, sadness and depression… it doesn’t even make sense to me at all. Yesterday morning, I felt exactly the same way, but a few hours after I got to the salt mines, I started to feel better. As a matter of fact, after a one-and-a-half-hour meeting, a co-worker of mine told me that I looked very happy. Go figure, it goes to show you how good I am at hiding my feelings and emotions. I just hope, that I get over this shit soon. Lucky for me, that I have an appointment with my shrink Dr. C after work tomorrow. I’ll see how that goes down and what he thinks about this fucking nonsense that has been driving me crazy for the last two days.