What up! What up! What up y’all! Today is Wednesday August 1, 2018 and it means that I have been sober for one month and fourteen days or forty-four days, or better yet, since I’m a weekend binge drinker or weekend warrior, six weekends in a row. As always, I feel like Tony the fucking tiger… GRRRRREAT! No anxiety, no depression, no hangover, no regrets… I mean nothing! I just hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Always try to enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.
On an after the session with my shrink note! If you read my post on Monday… which I know that most likely you didn’t because my posts are just sad and boring, you would have known by now, that on that day, I had a session with my shrink Dr. C. I have to say, that like always, it was great. He couldn’t believe that I have been sober for forty-two days at the time. The funniest thing that happened during the session was, when he asked me, how was I able to stay sober for so long, and I told him with a straight face… “I quit AA”. To be honest with you, he was confused, but he had to laugh at my answer. I had to explain to him, that I had stopped going to the AA meetings, because of some of the bullshit that goes on in there. For example, people who are sharing with the group, but at the same time, they were talking indirectly about the member that was sharing before them. I’ve never liked when someone does that, because to me, that is very disrespectful, childish and unfair. I did tell him, that I haven’t missed binge drinking on the weekends, because I have been keeping myself busy by going out either on Saturday or Sunday… if the weather allowed me. He was really happy with that.
What up! What up! What up my peeps! Today is Monday July 30, 2018 and it means that I have been sober for one month and twelve days or rather yet, forty-two days. As always, I feel like Tony the fucking tiger… GRRRRREAT! No anxiety, no depression, no hangover, no regrets… I mean nothing! I just hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Always try to enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.
On a monthly session with my shrink note! Today after work, I will be seeing my shrink Dr. C. I know that he will be happy with me and maybe even surprised, since I’ve been sober for forty-two days or better yet, six weekends in a row. To be honest with you, I believe that in the last three years, since I went back to drinking after five years of sobriety, this has been the longest that I have been sober. I mean, I’ve done five weekends, but never six. Maybe, just maybe, the Naltrexone has helped me with the urges to drink on the weekends, plus I have been going out too, which I think helps a lot, because it keeps my mind away from the stinking thinking. Aside from this crazy blog of mine, I’ve always liked talk therapy, because it let’s me get out what is on my mind. And I can’t complain about Dr. C, I have been seeing him for many years and I really like the way that he works and has been able to help me.
First things first my peeps! Today is Friday June 29, 2018 and it marks my 11th sober day and as always, I feel… GRRRRREAT! I just hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Always try to enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.
On a mental health note! Yesterday I had my second June session with my shrink Dr. C. He wanted to see me for a second time this month, because last Saturday I started the new crazy med Naltrexone. He just wanted to see how I was doing on it and or make any change if needed. He was very happy, pleased and congratulated me on giving AA another try. I did tell him that I drank on father’s day weekend, but that I have been sober after that. I will keep taking the new crazy med, not only for my drinking, but because it might help me with my OCD intrusive thoughts. So right now I’ll be chilling like a villain and I’ll see him again in a month. Oh, one thing that he did mention was “no drinking on July the 4th”, which I’m off from work because of independence day. Even though we are having a BBQ in the park on that day, I’m not planning on drinking, because I don’t want to fuck up what I started with AA. In other words, I don’t want to destroy with my feet, what I built with my hands.
Well, today I’ll be having my second June session with my shrink Dr. C. Not because of my social anxiety, Bipolar II disorder, weekend binge drinking, depression or OCD, but because he put me on a new crazy med called Naltrexone, that should help me with my drinking cravings, so he wants to know how I’m doing so far. As I mentioned many, many times before, I only drink on the weekends, but I still need to take the crazy med everyday. He also added, that the med is used off label, to treat OCD, which I welcome with open arms, because we haven’t been able to find a crazy med, that have actually helped me with the intrusive thoughts, which I find it to be the biggest challenge with my OCD.
I thought about changing the appointment, because I was supposed to start the crazy med about ten days ago, but because the pharmacist had to order it and it wasn’t delivered to him until the middle of last week, I didn’t start taking it until this past Saturday. I decided to keep the appointment, because talk therapy really helps me a lot. I know that my shrink will be very happy, because he has been pushing for a while now, so I could give AA another chance. I’ll see what happens.
Well, as I previously posted on this here crazy and insane blog of mine, yesterday I had a session with my shrink Dr. C and I was a little worried because my wife had previously called and spoken to him about my weekend binge drinking, which he already knew about, because I had mentioned it to him in many sessions before. The whole thing was, that I wasn’t sure, what he was going to say to me about my wife’s concern. I mean, I know that he feels that I drink because I’m an alcoholic and that I’m also self-medicating. But other than that, I really didn’t know what else to expect from him.
So when I saw him, he told me that my wife had called him, because she was really concerned about my weekend binge drinking. I told him, that I knew that I have been fucking up lately and that the only way to fix that, would be by staying sober from here on. He did understand, that I do self-medicate with alcohol, because it really helps with my OCD. So he prescribed me a new crazy med, that will help me with my drinking, but has an off-label use for the OCD intrusive thoughts too, which is the biggest issue that I have with my OCD. Don’t worry, when I find out the name and I start the new crazy med, I’ll keep you posted as to how it is going.
Today after work, I will be seeing my shrink Dr. C. The whole thing is a good thing and a bad thing at the same time. Why is it a good thing? Because even though I only see him once a month, I really enjoy talk therapy, and when I leave his office, I feel like if a thousand pounds were lifted off of my shoulders. Why is it a bad thing? Because my wife called him last week and talked to him about my weekend binge drinking, which he already knows about, but I don’t know what my wife had told him. I did called him yesterday, to confirm our session on June 14th and I asked him if in fact, my wife had called him, at which time he said yes.
The thing is, that when I started to see him around eight years ago, I signed a paper, that says, that he can give my wife any information that she requests. Why? Because I have been with her for so many years, that she might actually know me better than… ME! To be honest, I’m not nervous, because I really like him and I have always liked the way that he treats and works with me. I just hope that I don’t get sent to the loony bin though. Fingers crossed. Bwahahahahaha!
What up! What up! What up! What up y’all! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, I hope that you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. As always, enjoy your Friday to the fullest and don’t let nobody or nothing fuck it up for you no matter what happens.
On a weekend drinking note! Yesterday I saw my shrink Dr. C and we talked about my weekend drinking and binges. We came up with a plan, that since I have stopped drinking for five weekends in the past, this time I will go for six. He also mentioned, that I’m half way there, which is true. But I did tell him, that I don’t see myself staying sober for the rest of my life. But I do see myself taking long no drinking breaks. He was OK with that and told me, that I should just start with small goals. I’m OK with that.
On a OCD intrusive thought note! Dr. C and I also got to talked about my OCD intrusive thoughts and how hard it is for me to talk about them. I did mentioned to him that I have been blogging about them again, he liked the idea. I told him, how before I got psychiatric help, I used to feel that I was a horrible person because of the awful thoughts. I really think that the crazy meds, talk therapy and blogging, has helped me open up a little more about them. The combination of all three, have really helped me.