September Session With My Shrink

TTV - At The Shrink - 1

What up! What up! What up my homies! Today is Friday September 7, 2018 and it means that I have been sober for two months and twenty days or rather yet, a grand total of eighty-one days. As always, I feel like Tony the tiger… GRRRRREAT!

OK, on a monthly session with my shrink note! Yesterday I saw my shrink and as always, after talking with him, I felt like if a ton of bricks was lifted off of my shoulders. I have to say, that he was very happy and proud of my sobriety. He even congratulated me a couple of times for being sober for so long. He did asked me how was I doing on the weekends, since that’s the only time that I binge drink. I told him that I have been busy, going out with my wife to two wedding receptions and two get together with a few of my fellow co-workers. But other than that, I’ve doing pretty, pretty good. I mean, aside from my share of stinking thinking and a drunk dream, I’m really doing good. As a matter of fact, I specially don’t miss the hangovers, anxiety, depression and regrets that sets in after a weekend of drinking. The first few weekends were not easy for me, but right now, I’m chilling like a villain.

As for my loyal five to ten readers, I just hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Always try to enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nothing or nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

My Weak End Plans

low angle photo of fireworks
Photo by rovenimages.com on Pexels.com

What up! What up! What up my peeps! Today is Tuesday August 28, 2018 and it means that I have been sober for two month and ten days or rather yet, seventy-one days in total. The way that I was thinking about it the other day was, that out of the three summer months, I only drank during the first one and I’ve been sober for the last two. Which is not bad, since this is the longest that I’ve been sober for in the last three years. You can say that I am taking it one weak end at a time.

The crazy shit about the whole thing is, that ever since I decided to stay sober, my wife and I have been invited to more get together, barbeques and parties by family, friends and coworkers, than any other time or even year. I have to say… it is fucking crazy. The way that I look at it is, that I’m just being tested… yes, tested to see if I really can and want to stay sober. For example, this coming weekend, since it’s a three-day weekend, we have been invited to a wedding reception on Saturday evening by one of my wife’s cousins. Then to a get together on Sunday afternoon, by a friend of ours, who I grew up with and who I call one of my two little brothers. As always, there will be people drinking around me, but you can be sure that I’ll behave… because I want to stay sober, I’ll have my security guard (My wife) with me and I’ll be driving. So don’t cry for me Argentina, you can be sure that everything will be A-OK.

As for my loyal five to ten readers, I just hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Always try to enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nothing or nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Feeling Good Monday

TTV - Feelin Good - 1

First things first y’all! Today is Monday August 27, 2018 and it means that I have been sober for two months and nine days or rather yet, 70 days and as always, I feel like Tony the fucking tiger… GRRRRREAT! No anxiety, no depression, no hangover, no regrets… I mean nothing!

OK kids! I have to say, that it really feels fucking awesome to be able to go to work on a Monday, without a hangover or even having to call in at the last-minute to request a vacation day. As a matter of fact, I still have five vacation days left, which is a first for me in a long ass time. I have to say, that I have been doing better and better, when it comes to being around people who are drinking alcohol. There have been times, when I felt like having just a couple of cold ones, but that is just stupid thinking. Other than that, I have been doing pretty good. I guess that my trick is, to keep myself busy on the weekends, which I like to actually call my weak ends, since I only drink during those days. I can also say, that on my mental side of things, my bipolar II, OCD and Social Anxiety Disorders have been behaving. I did felt depressed a little while back, but the dark cloud has lifted. I really can’t complain, because things are looking good.

As for my loyal five to ten readers, I just hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Always try to enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nothing or nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Two Months Later

TTV - Two Months Later - 1.jpg

What up! What up! What up my peeps! Today is Saturday August 18, 2018 and I’m really fucking happy and excited, because I am celebrating my two month sober anniversary. As always, I feel like Tony the fucking tiger… GRRRRREAT! No anxiety, no depression, no hangover, no regrets… I mean nothing! To be honest with my loyal 1.5 readers, this has been the longest that I have been sober for, in the last three years, ever since I fucked up my five years of sobriety. As for celebrating, today I will drink my ass off, yes you read that right… I will be drinking my ass of with ice tea, soda, water and whatever liquid I can get my hands on, that doesn’t contain any alcohol. In other words, I’ll just be chilling like a villain at home.

As for you guys, I just hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Always try to enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Escaping From AA

TTV - AA - 1

To be honest with my loyal 1.5 readers, I have to say, that I haven’t been to an AA meeting in weeks already. I do have to say, that I really don’t miss it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to meet and hangout with people who have a drinking problem like me, but I know that I can go without it. Hey look, I stayed sober for five years, without going to an AA meeting and I can assure you, that I fucked up my sobriety, because I wanted to fuck it up, not because I didn’t go to AA meetings.

One of the many things that I don’t like about AA is, that they keep telling members, that without AA, they will go back to their old ways. Which I personally think it’s just plain and simple bullshit. I hate it, when I’m told that without something, I am nothing. Well, at least that’s the way that I see it. I really don’t mind going to meetings once in a while, but I really don’t see myself turning it into a daily or even weekly habit. I really do like to listen to the old stories the members share with the group. It’s just that I really can’t see myself not being able to stay away from drinking, if I don’t attend AA meetings. I think, that if I can’t do it without AA, then I’m just replacing one addiction with another.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

The Fucking Racing Thoughts

man wearing black leather jacket and blue jeans sitting on floor
Photo by SaLam Ullah on Pexels.com

First things first my peeps! Today is Thursday August 2, 2018 and it means that I have been sober for one month and fifteen days or forty-five days or even better yet, since I’m a weekend binge drinker, 6 weekends. As always, I feel like Tony the tiger… GRRRRREAT! No anxiety, no depression, no hangover, no regrets… I mean nothing! I just hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Always try to enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On a crazy med note! To be honest with you, I haven’t been taking the Risperidone for a couple of weeks now. It’s not that I hate taking it, it’s just that regularly, by the time that I remember to take it, it’s too late at night. You see, if I don’t take it by around 8:00 pm, the next day, I feel sleepy most of the morning, even if I just take half a pill like my shrink told me to. The whole thing that I have noticed about not taking it is, that I keep having these crazy racing thoughts. I really hate them, because they don’t make sense to me and because they are about people and things that I really don’t give a shit about. To be honest with you, I have come to realize, that even though sometimes I don’t want to take my crazy meds, they really do help me with my daemons.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

After The Session

20180730_180818.jpg
I took this picture of The Empire State Building after I left my shrink’s office, which is close by.

What up! What up! What up y’all! Today is Wednesday August 1, 2018 and it means that I have been sober for one month and fourteen days or forty-four days, or  better yet, since I’m a weekend binge drinker or weekend warrior, six weekends in a row. As always, I feel like Tony the fucking tiger… GRRRRREAT! No anxiety, no depression, no hangover, no regrets… I mean nothing! I just hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Always try to enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On an after the session with my shrink note! If you read my post on Monday… which I know that most likely you didn’t because my posts are just sad and boring, you would have known by now, that on that day, I had a session with my shrink Dr. C. I have to say, that like always, it was great. He couldn’t believe that I have been sober for forty-two days at the time. The funniest thing that happened during the session was, when he asked me, how was I able to stay sober for so long, and I told him with a straight face… “I quit AA”. To be honest with you, he was confused, but he had to laugh at my answer. I had to explain to him, that I had stopped going to the AA meetings, because of some of the bullshit that goes on in there. For example, people who are sharing with the group, but at the same time, they were talking indirectly about the member that was sharing before them. I’ve never liked when someone does that, because to me, that is very disrespectful, childish and unfair. I did tell him, that I haven’t missed binge drinking on the weekends, because I have been keeping myself busy by going out either on Saturday or Sunday… if the weather allowed me. He was really happy with that.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!