The Dark Cloud Is Moving

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Photo by Josh Sorenson on Pexels.com

On the depressive side of my life, I still feel under a dark cloud, but I assure you, that It has been getting better as the days go by. Plus don’t worry for me Argentina, because thank God, my depression phases have never escalate to a point where I contemplate suicide. In others words, I just feel down, sad, like shit and everything in between, but it doesn’t go beyond that.

On the good side of my life, today I am proud of myself, because I have been sober for eight straight weekends, something that I haven’t been able to accomplish in the last three years. Actually, the most that I have been sober for during that time, has been five weekends. I have to say, that I really feel good because it’s been a while since I had to deal with all the bullshit that comes after a weekend of binge drinking.

As for my loyal 1.5 readers, I just hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Always try to enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nothing or nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Two Months Later

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What up! What up! What up my peeps! Today is Saturday August 18, 2018 and I’m really fucking happy and excited, because I am celebrating my two month sober anniversary. As always, I feel like Tony the fucking tiger… GRRRRREAT! No anxiety, no depression, no hangover, no regrets… I mean nothing! To be honest with my loyal 1.5 readers, this has been the longest that I have been sober for, in the last three years, ever since I fucked up my five years of sobriety. As for celebrating, today I will drink my ass off, yes you read that right… I will be drinking my ass of with ice tea, soda, water and whatever liquid I can get my hands on, that doesn’t contain any alcohol. In other words, I’ll just be chilling like a villain at home.

As for you guys, I just hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Always try to enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Escaping From AA

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To be honest with my loyal 1.5 readers, I have to say, that I haven’t been to an AA meeting in weeks already. I do have to say, that I really don’t miss it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to meet and hangout with people who have a drinking problem like me, but I know that I can go without it. Hey look, I stayed sober for five years, without going to an AA meeting and I can assure you, that I fucked up my sobriety, because I wanted to fuck it up, not because I didn’t go to AA meetings.

One of the many things that I don’t like about AA is, that they keep telling members, that without AA, they will go back to their old ways. Which I personally think it’s just plain and simple bullshit. I hate it, when I’m told that without something, I am nothing. Well, at least that’s the way that I see it. I really don’t mind going to meetings once in a while, but I really don’t see myself turning it into a daily or even weekly habit. I really do like to listen to the old stories the members share with the group. It’s just that I really can’t see myself not being able to stay away from drinking, if I don’t attend AA meetings. I think, that if I can’t do it without AA, then I’m just replacing one addiction with another.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Eight Sober Weekends

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Just in case you didn’t know or as I’m sure… you just don’t give a flying fuck… today is Monday August 13, 2018 and it marks one month and twenty-six days of my sobriety or fifty-six days in total. But since I’m a weekend binge drinker or a weekend warrior and I just love to count weekends, I have been sober for eight straight weekends. Woo-Hoo! Has it been easy? To be honest with you, at first it was a fucking hell, because I would see family members and friends drinking alcohol and having fun… and then there was me. Sitting around, trying to make it look as if I was happy and enjoying every minute of it, when in reality, I felt like shit, because I knew that I couldn’t drink at all.

Do I miss drinking alcohol? Well I’m not going to sit here and lie my ass off as I write this post. At the beginning I sure did, and I mean a lot. But eight weekends later, I can say that I haven’t been having any stinking thinking. Just last weekend, I hanged out with a few of my co-workers for six hours. It really didn’t bother me that some of them were drinking. As a matter of fact, I felt that time flew pretty quickly. I guess that what I’m trying to say is, that as time goes by, my urges to drink are starting to disappear. I know that I will have my good days and my bad days, but I can’t let that shit stop me from staying sober.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

You Are Not Talking To Me? Good!

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First things first y’all! Today is Sunday August 12, 2018 and it means that I have been sober for one month and twenty-five days or rather yet, fifty-five days. As always, I feel like Tony the fucking tiger… GRRRRREAT! No anxiety, no depression, no hangover, no regrets… I mean nothing! I just hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Always try to enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On a not talking to me note! Throughout my life, I’ve had many people who have stopped talking to me for some stupid reason or for no reason at all. Do you know what’s funny about that? That I never gave a fuck about it! The thing with me is, that I will never force anyone to be my friend or let alone, talk to me. As a matter of fact, if for whatever stupid reason a person stops talking to me, the way that I look at it is, that the person is actually doing me a big motherfucking favor. Why? Because that will be one less person, that will ask me for a favor. Yes, you read that right… since the person won’t talk to me, he/she won’t be able to ask me for a favor if they need me. The truth of the matter is, that I have bigger and more important problems to worry about in my life.. Like for example, when is the next time that I will be taking a shit? That right there, is more important to me, than worrying about why some dumb stupid asshole, doesn’t want to talk to me.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Keeping Shit Real

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What up! What up! What up my peeps! Today is Saturday August 10, 2018 and it means that I have been sober for one month and twenty-four days or rather yet, fifty-four days. As always, I feel like Tony the fucking tiger… GRRRRREAT! I just hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Always try to enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On a social media note! A few days ago, I decided to delete everything that I have posted to my social media accounts, because to me it was just a whole bunch of fucking bullshit. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I kept the accounts active, in order to keep in contact with family and friends once in a while. But as to me posting to them, I see it as a big waste of time. To be honest with you, I just got tired of all of the bullshit that people keep posting. The only place that I will keep active on, will be this here crazy and boring blog of mine. WHY? Because I only post once a day and people read it whenever they want to and only if they want to, because I’m not posting something fucking stupid, every fucking minute of the day, because I don’t have a fucking life. Plus I use this blog to deal with my daemons. The way that I see it is, that social media is mostly made up of people who want attention and or are drama kings and queens. It is true that I still have this crazy blog of mine, but I don’t use it to gain attention, followers, fame, money or sympathy from others. With this blog, I keep shit real!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!one 

My Super Baby Nino

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What up! What up! What up my peeps! Today is Friday August 10, 2018 and it means that I have been sober for one month and twenty-three days or rather yet, fifty-three days in total. As always, I feel like Tony the fucking tiger… GRRRRREAT! I just hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Always try to enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On a dog lover note! Some people might think that I have a boring life on work days, since I work eight hours a day, five days a week from Monday through Friday, then I just get home and do nothing. But the truth is, that even though I normally don’t go out on work days, aside from my wife and my two human children, my third child is always super happy to hear me whistle when I enter the building, so he knows that I am home. You see, my third child’s name is Nino… actually, I call him “My super dog Nino” since he’s always full of energy when I get home. We rescued him back in 2013, when he was only six months old and we had just lost our other baby to cancer a couple of weeks earlier. The guy who had him, got him from his boss, because she just gave birth and she couldn’t take care of him anymore. He was trying to make a few bucks by selling him to us, but we wouldn’t budge. Until he finally decided to release him to us. His hair was all matted and the kids used to hit him with sticks in the basement where he was kept. To make a long story short, I really don’t know who rescued who, since I was going through a deep depression, because I had just lost my other dog. The only problem with my super dog Nino is, that he is super protective of me and when we are chilling in bed, he doesn’t like nobody coming into the bedroom. My point? Animals do help with depression.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!