Men Can’t Read Minds

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On a mind reading note! I’ve been happily married for thirty-one years, and the one thing that I can’t seem to get my wife to understand about me is, that no matter how hard I try, I can’t read her mind. What do I mean by that? Well, over twenty years ago, I told my wife, that if I ever do something, say something or behave in a way that bothers her, that she doesn’t like or don’t approve of, to please let me know right away, because as a human being, I will unknowingly make mistakes, that she will have to bring to my attention, in order for me not do repeat them in the future.

Fast-forward  twenty something years later and my wife expects me to know when she’s mad at me by reading her facial and or behavioral cues. Not for nothing, but I’ve seen a lot of ladies that show the same behavior towards their men. My point is, to let the ladies out there know, that no matter what they’ve been told, taught, heard, read or learned. WE MEN CAN’T READ MINDS FOR SHIT! So if something is bothering you, don’t go around the home slamming doors, cabinet doors, cups, dishes and pots. Let your man know what exactly is bothering you and you’ll see that most of the times, it is as simple as that.

As always, wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. I hope that you are enjoying it or have enjoyed it to the fullest.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!


Meanwhile, Back At The Salt Mine


What up! What up! What up my homies and homettes! On a back to the salt mine note! Yesterday was my first day back to the salt mine since November 21, the last day that I went to work. I really can’t complain for shit, since I thought that it was going be hard, getting back into my routine. I have to say, that the weather was great here in New York city, but I felt even better, because my supervisor was out the entire morning. But still, I had to be on the dreaded phone the entire day, but trust me, it beats being home playing with my balls all day long.

I have to say, that even though sometimes it might get crazy at the salt mine, I still miss it. WHY? Because the schedule changes everyday, and sometimes even at the last-minute. Plus since my mind is busy, it really helps me with my OCD intrusive thoughts and my Bipolar racing thoughts. I just take my crazy meds in the morning, so I can deal with whatever is thrown at me during the day.

As always, wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. I hope that you are enjoying it or have enjoyed it to the fullest.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I Love Our Alone Time

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What up! What up! What up my homies and homettes! On an alone time note! Yesterday I had a really, really, really busy and long day, but to be honest with you, no matter what, I really fucking enjoyed it. WHY? Well, as usual, I spent most of my Saturday with my beautiful wife shopping and running some errands. I also got her father breakfast, drove my baby Nino to the veterinarian to get groomed and picked up my twenty-four year old son at his aunt’s home, where he spent the night drinking and having fun with his aunt and cousins. Which is not his style, since he likes to stay home playing video games online, when he is off from work and school.

My point is, that it really helps me mentally to get out of the apartment and do something, rather than staying home doing shit. As a mater of fact, I used to hate it when my wife made me run errands and do shopping with her on Saturdays, because of the crowds, traffic and then looking for a parking spot in our neighborhood when we got back, which sometimes takes more than an hour. But after a while, I noticed something very important happening, that I was spending quality time with my wife and I loved it, because we were having our alone time. During that time, we get to catch up on some things, laugh and have a lot of fun. I mean, don’t get me wrong, just like any other couple, sometimes we argue about the stupidest shit there is, like making the wrong turn, but that is quickly forgotten and we move on. My advice to my loyal 1.5 readers is, to spend as much alone time as you can with your better half. If you don’t have a better half and you feel like shit. Get the fuck out there and do something!

As always, wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. I hope that you are enjoying it or have enjoyed it to the fullest.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

The Big C Hits Close To Home

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Photo by Miguel Á. Padriñán on

What up! What up! What up my homies and homettes! 

On a sad note! Yesterday, my wife’s best friend found out that she has cancer. I’m really not sure as to what type it is right now, but my wife has been going crazy ever since her friend told her. Even though her friend is almost old enough to be her mother, they get along very well for their age difference. The part about the whole situation that has been hurting my wife the most is, that her friend is already talking as if she has little time to live, which is not the case, because it is too early and she’s going into surgery on Monday. Even though I lost my mother to breast cancer twenty-two years ago, science has advanced a lot since then. So I’m very optimistic that everything will be OK.

As always, wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what goes down.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

My Last Weekend Binge

Me, just chilling like a villain at home.

What up! What up! What up my homies and homettes! Well, one thing about me and this here crazy, insane and boring blog of mine is, that unlike other bloggers, who always portray a beautiful, positive and successful fake life, I don’t have time for that shit. In other words, either I post the truth or I don’t post shit at all. Anyways getting to the story, the thing that I forgot to mention on my last post was, that after being sober for five months, on Thanksgiving weekend, I had a couple of cold ones. To be honest with you, I’m not even looking at it as setback, because like I told my shrink many times, I’m not planning on staying sober for the rest of my life, I just want to stop the continuous weekend binge drinking that I had going on or the last three years. I’m really not disappointed, because the way that I look at it is, that I was just enjoying a holiday with family and friends. Nothing more, nothing else.

What my lovely wife did ask me was, if I was planning on drinking for the coming Christmas and New Year holiday, which I answered with no hesitation. NO! The reason for my decision is, that hangovers really fucking suck! It could be that #1) As I’m getting older, I’m get wiser. #2) I’m just getting tired of drinking or #3) 1 and 2. Whatever the reason or reasons, I’m really not looking forward to feeling like shit on my weekends anymore, just for the hell of drinking. I mean, I don’t see anything wrong with having a few cold ones once in a blue moon, just not every fucking weekend like I was doing a couple of months ago.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Going Back To Basics

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Photo by Paula Schmidt on

I know! I know! I know! I know! I know! It has been a couple of days since I last posted on this here crazy, insane and boring blog for mine. It is a long story, but you might already know me… or not… But I always like to make them short, sweet and to the point.

The whole thing was that 1) I have two herniated disks in my lower back and I did a couple of things I should not have done over the long weekend, so my back went out and I have been out of work and at home taking pain meds, until I go back to the salt mine next Monday and 2) My wife and I have been spending more time together, because even if we give each other some space, we both felt that we were not spending enough time together. So there you have it my loyal 1.5 readers.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I Give Her Space

I have to say, that the other morning, I was fortunate enough to catch an extraordinary story about 96-year-old U.S. District Judge Honorable Robert W. Sweet. But since I know you have a life and better shits to do, I’ll make this story nice, short and like the judge… Sweet. Twice a week to stay fit, he is coached by an Olympic ice dancer. But the thing that really got my attention was, when he tells the story as to why he doesn’t skate with his wife, even though she’s the avid ice dancing fan who gave him the skates as a birthday gift, when he was in his 70’s.

Anyways, my point is, that even though my wife and I have been together for 31 years, I always make sure that she has her space. Why? Because the same way that I have my hobby and interests that she doesn’t give a flying fuck about, she has her own interests and things that I don’t give a flying fuck about either. I’ve heard of some men who are offended when their wives or girlfriends ask for some space. But I think that they feel like that, because they take it the wrong way. That never happened with me, because I always knew, that no matter how much a couple loves each other, it doesn’t mean that they have to be together 24/7/365. Food for thought my homies and homettes… food for thought. 

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!