Men Can’t Read Minds

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On a mind reading note! I’ve been happily married for thirty-one years, and the one thing that I can’t seem to get my wife to understand about me is, that no matter how hard I try, I can’t read her mind. What do I mean by that? Well, over twenty years ago, I told my wife, that if I ever do something, say something or behave in a way that bothers her, that she doesn’t like or don’t approve of, to please let me know right away, because as a human being, I will unknowingly make mistakes, that she will have to bring to my attention, in order for me not do repeat them in the future.

Fast-forward  twenty something years later and my wife expects me to know when she’s mad at me by reading her facial and or behavioral cues. Not for nothing, but I’ve seen a lot of ladies that show the same behavior towards their men. My point is, to let the ladies out there know, that no matter what they’ve been told, taught, heard, read or learned. WE MEN CAN’T READ MINDS FOR SHIT! So if something is bothering you, don’t go around the home slamming doors, cabinet doors, cups, dishes and pots. Let your man know what exactly is bothering you and you’ll see that most of the times, it is as simple as that.

As always, wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. I hope that you are enjoying it or have enjoyed it to the fullest.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!


I Love Our Alone Time

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What up! What up! What up my homies and homettes! On an alone time note! Yesterday I had a really, really, really busy and long day, but to be honest with you, no matter what, I really fucking enjoyed it. WHY? Well, as usual, I spent most of my Saturday with my beautiful wife shopping and running some errands. I also got her father breakfast, drove my baby Nino to the veterinarian to get groomed and picked up my twenty-four year old son at his aunt’s home, where he spent the night drinking and having fun with his aunt and cousins. Which is not his style, since he likes to stay home playing video games online, when he is off from work and school.

My point is, that it really helps me mentally to get out of the apartment and do something, rather than staying home doing shit. As a mater of fact, I used to hate it when my wife made me run errands and do shopping with her on Saturdays, because of the crowds, traffic and then looking for a parking spot in our neighborhood when we got back, which sometimes takes more than an hour. But after a while, I noticed something very important happening, that I was spending quality time with my wife and I loved it, because we were having our alone time. During that time, we get to catch up on some things, laugh and have a lot of fun. I mean, don’t get me wrong, just like any other couple, sometimes we argue about the stupidest shit there is, like making the wrong turn, but that is quickly forgotten and we move on. My advice to my loyal 1.5 readers is, to spend as much alone time as you can with your better half. If you don’t have a better half and you feel like shit. Get the fuck out there and do something!

As always, wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. I hope that you are enjoying it or have enjoyed it to the fullest.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Going Back To Basics

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Photo by Paula Schmidt on

I know! I know! I know! I know! I know! It has been a couple of days since I last posted on this here crazy, insane and boring blog for mine. It is a long story, but you might already know me… or not… But I always like to make them short, sweet and to the point.

The whole thing was that 1) I have two herniated disks in my lower back and I did a couple of things I should not have done over the long weekend, so my back went out and I have been out of work and at home taking pain meds, until I go back to the salt mine next Monday and 2) My wife and I have been spending more time together, because even if we give each other some space, we both felt that we were not spending enough time together. So there you have it my loyal 1.5 readers.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Tony’s Not So Expert Advice

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First things first my hermanos and hermanas from another madre! Wherever you are in this crazy, funny, insane, strange, weird and all put together in an unlabeled bottle, planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. As always, enjoy it to the fullest and do not to let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens. Also, remember to be yourself, but keep in mind, not to be a dick or an asshole to others, because we are already filled to capacity with those and we won’t be able to handle another one.

On a sober note! Today is Saturday November 17, 2018 and that means that I have been sober for four months and thirty days or even better yet, one hundred fifty-two days in total. I have to say, that sobriety has really helped me deal with my anxiety, bipolar II disorder, depression and OCD. I really feel fucking great!

For those of you out there in the blogosphere, AKA my loyal 1.5 readers, who might not know it, my wife and I officially started dating exactly on October 2, 1987 (She has made sure that I never forget that date). Back then she was fifteen and I was seventeen. As a matter of fact, just last month, on October 2, 2018, we celebrated our thirty-first anniversary. Woo-Hoo!

Hey look, to be honest with you, we are proud, happy and still very much in love after all these years. But just like any other young couple, at first we had a lot of ups and downs. But trust me, I don’t regret anything, because as we were getting used to being young parents and living together, we learned a lot about each other.

As you might know by now, I’m no expert, but there are a few things that I can tell young couples, that I wished I was told back in the days, but was not.

  1. Respect each another.
  2. Trust each other.
  3. If something about you is bothering your partner, listen, then fix it.
  4. If something about your partner is bothering you, say something, because humans can’t read minds.
  5. Once is a mistake. Twice is a pattern. Three times is a habit.
  6. Nobody wears the so-called pants in the home.
  7. Regardless of sex and or income, a relationship is 50/50.
  8. It takes two people to procreate babies and also two to take care of them.
  9. Always include your partner in every decision, no matter how meaningless, you might think it is.
  10. If you didn’t understand something that your partner did or say, say something.
  11. Value your partner’s opinion and input, don’t dismiss them, just because.
  12. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes.
  13. Be open-minded.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!