They’re Are Ba-ack!

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OK, so this morning, while getting ready to head on out to the salt mine, I realize something that has been sneaking up on me for the past month or month and a half. What is that you ask? My fucking racing thoughts are back! You see, I start thinking about one person and then move on to the next one, and on to the next one, and on to the next one. The same thing happens with ideas and problems. The crazy shit is, that one person, thing or problem, doesn’t have to do shit with the other. In other words, they are not connected or related to one another. I start thinking about one thing, then a couple of minutes later, I realize what is going on and then I try to figure out what was my first thought in the first place, and I can’t remember for shit.

I’m thinking about giving my shrink Dr. C a call later today, about going back on the crazy med Risperidone, which is supposed to help me with my disorganized thinking or trouble organizing my thoughts. I mean, I did tried it before and at the lowest dosage possible, but it still made me feel sleepy and tired in the morning. But to be honest with you, I only tried it for a couple of days, one week tops. So I think that I was just feeling some of the side effects, which usually go away within a week when I start a new crazy med. Well my homies and homettes, I’ll see how that goes down today and I will keep you posted.

As always, wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. I hope that you are enjoying it or have enjoyed it to the fullest.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I Love Our Alone Time

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What up! What up! What up my homies and homettes! On an alone time note! Yesterday I had a really, really, really busy and long day, but to be honest with you, no matter what, I really fucking enjoyed it. WHY? Well, as usual, I spent most of my Saturday with my beautiful wife shopping and running some errands. I also got her father breakfast, drove my baby Nino to the veterinarian to get groomed and picked up my twenty-four year old son at his aunt’s home, where he spent the night drinking and having fun with his aunt and cousins. Which is not his style, since he likes to stay home playing video games online, when he is off from work and school.

My point is, that it really helps me mentally to get out of the apartment and do something, rather than staying home doing shit. As a mater of fact, I used to hate it when my wife made me run errands and do shopping with her on Saturdays, because of the crowds, traffic and then looking for a parking spot in our neighborhood when we got back, which sometimes takes more than an hour. But after a while, I noticed something very important happening, that I was spending quality time with my wife and I loved it, because we were having our alone time. During that time, we get to catch up on some things, laugh and have a lot of fun. I mean, don’t get me wrong, just like any other couple, sometimes we argue about the stupidest shit there is, like making the wrong turn, but that is quickly forgotten and we move on. My advice to my loyal 1.5 readers is, to spend as much alone time as you can with your better half. If you don’t have a better half and you feel like shit. Get the fuck out there and do something!

As always, wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. I hope that you are enjoying it or have enjoyed it to the fullest.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

My Last Weekend Binge

Me, just chilling like a villain at home.

What up! What up! What up my homies and homettes! Well, one thing about me and this here crazy, insane and boring blog of mine is, that unlike other bloggers, who always portray a beautiful, positive and successful fake life, I don’t have time for that shit. In other words, either I post the truth or I don’t post shit at all. Anyways getting to the story, the thing that I forgot to mention on my last post was, that after being sober for five months, on Thanksgiving weekend, I had a couple of cold ones. To be honest with you, I’m not even looking at it as setback, because like I told my shrink many times, I’m not planning on staying sober for the rest of my life, I just want to stop the continuous weekend binge drinking that I had going on or the last three years. I’m really not disappointed, because the way that I look at it is, that I was just enjoying a holiday with family and friends. Nothing more, nothing else.

What my lovely wife did ask me was, if I was planning on drinking for the coming Christmas and New Year holiday, which I answered with no hesitation. NO! The reason for my decision is, that hangovers really fucking suck! It could be that #1) As I’m getting older, I’m get wiser. #2) I’m just getting tired of drinking or #3) 1 and 2. Whatever the reason or reasons, I’m really not looking forward to feeling like shit on my weekends anymore, just for the hell of drinking. I mean, I don’t see anything wrong with having a few cold ones once in a blue moon, just not every fucking weekend like I was doing a couple of months ago.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I Give Her Space

I have to say, that the other morning, I was fortunate enough to catch an extraordinary story about 96-year-old U.S. District Judge Honorable Robert W. Sweet. But since I know you have a life and better shits to do, I’ll make this story nice, short and like the judge… Sweet. Twice a week to stay fit, he is coached by an Olympic ice dancer. But the thing that really got my attention was, when he tells the story as to why he doesn’t skate with his wife, even though she’s the avid ice dancing fan who gave him the skates as a birthday gift, when he was in his 70’s.

Anyways, my point is, that even though my wife and I have been together for 31 years, I always make sure that she has her space. Why? Because the same way that I have my hobby and interests that she doesn’t give a flying fuck about, she has her own interests and things that I don’t give a flying fuck about either. I’ve heard of some men who are offended when their wives or girlfriends ask for some space. But I think that they feel like that, because they take it the wrong way. That never happened with me, because I always knew, that no matter how much a couple loves each other, it doesn’t mean that they have to be together 24/7/365. Food for thought my homies and homettes… food for thought. 

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Depressed Or Not! Here I Go!

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Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

Just as my Thanksgiving Day was getting started, so did my depression. Like I told my shrink Dr. C a couple of times, I take my crazy meds every day in the morning, but for some weird and unexplained reason, every few weeks, I get depressed as hell. The one thing that I’ve noticed for a while now is, that it all gets started with all these negative thoughts popping into my mind. Then most of the time, as the day goes by, it all goes downhill from there. I know that many years ago, my shrink told me that I suffer from Bipolar II disorder, but I’ve never experienced anything like this, until a couple of months ago.

Well, the good news is, that after spending a couple of hours going back and forth between helping my wife with some Thanksgiving dinner preparations and writing this post, I can say that I feel a lot better. Who knows, maybe what actually helped me was using this post to say how I felt. But no matter what, I will let my shrink know, when I see him next month.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Gobble Gobble My Madafakas!

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Happy Thanksgiving my homies and homettes! Not only is today a holiday, but it is also a four-day weekend for me. WOO-HOO! That means that I don’t have to deal with none of the bullshit at the salt mine, until next Monday. Again!… WOO-HOO!

Like every year, my wife will be cooking our Thanksgiving dinner, but one thing that she warned family members and friends who are coming over was, that since she rarely drinks alcohol, because she has to be injected with insulin every day due to her diabetes, and I’ve been sober for five months now, she ain’t buying no alcohol for nobody. In other words, it’s a BYOB (Bring Your Own Booze or Bring Your Own Bottle) kind of thang. When she told me that, I had to laugh, because I’ve told her numerous times, that it doesn’t bother me if she drinks alcohol, because she’s not the one with the weekend binge drinking problem, plus I only had a problem with people drinking in front of me, my first few sober weekends. After that, I still have my moments of stinking thinking, but I dismiss them very quickly. So this long ass weekend, I’m just going to be eating like a madafaka and chilling like a villain at home.

As for my loyal 1.5 readers, enjoy the holiday to the fullest and if you’re just not into getting shitfaced like I used to do on the weekends, then leave the drinking to the professionals… You know who we they are.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Music And My OCD

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Photo by Miguel Á. Padriñán on Pexels.com

First things first my homies and homettes! I became what they call a bedroom DJ back in the mid 80’s, then quit in the mid 90’s. During that time, I was also introduced to making electronic music using drum machines and other equipment. A couple of years ago, I decided to get back into mixing and electronic music because… I really missed it and what I did most of my weekends was to binge drink. So I bought myself some basic DJ equipment and music production software. But like always, I only do it as a hobby that I love, not for fame and money.

The one thing that I notice this time around was, that talk therapy and the crazy meds have helped me a lot with my anxiety and OCD, but they have not been able to completely make my OCD intrusive thoughts and images go away. On the other hand, mixing and creating my own electronic music, actually helps even more. Remember, that I am an expert at nothing, but what I am trying to say is, that maybe, just maybe, if you find something like a hobby, that will keep your mind busy for a while, it MIGHT eventually help with your OCD. I say MIGHT, because one of the many things that people don’t know is, that everybody’s OCD manifest itself in different ways. That’s the reason why, when I write a post about OCD, I specifically include the words “MY OCD” in the title.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!