I’m Too Sexy For My…

TTV - Big Tit Man - 1

What up! What up! What up my homies and homettes! On a sexy note! I personally know a couple of ladies who have fake butts. But wait a minute Tony! Since you are a happily married man, how do you know this shit without touching? 1) Because I know how they looked before the procedure and 2) When they came back from a so-called “vacation to The Dominican Republic”, they magically had bigger butts. Why “The Dominican Republic”? Because my country is one of many well-known countries, where a lot of women go to for cheap cosmetic surgeries. But many have died from something as simple as a tummy tuck.

You see, my wife suffers from type 1 diabetes, asthma and other health issues, and has mentioned to me a couple of times, that she would like get breast implants, because after having two kids blah, blah, blah, blah… you know the story. My question to her has always been. Have I ever complained about your breasts or any part of your body? Her answer has always been NO! After thatI always tell her, that before I complain about her body, I should take a good look at my body first. Specially my big fat belly, which I love showing to her and our daughter, when I perform my belly dance for them. OK! They really hate it when I do that. But I still do it anyway!

My point is, that I just can’t understand why some women chose to change their appearance, in order to please others. The one thing that I have to say is, that the few surgical procedures that I ever had in my entire life, like the vertical sleeve gastrectomy, have been for health reasons, not to look good for nobody, specially society.

As always, wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. I hope that you are enjoying it or have enjoyed it to the fullest.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

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Men Can’t Read Minds

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On a mind reading note! I’ve been happily married for thirty-one years, and the one thing that I can’t seem to get my wife to understand about me is, that no matter how hard I try, I can’t read her mind. What do I mean by that? Well, over twenty years ago, I told my wife, that if I ever do something, say something or behave in a way that bothers her, that she doesn’t like or don’t approve of, to please let me know right away, because as a human being, I will unknowingly make mistakes, that she will have to bring to my attention, in order for me not do repeat them in the future.

Fast-forward  twenty something years later and my wife expects me to know when she’s mad at me by reading her facial and or behavioral cues. Not for nothing, but I’ve seen a lot of ladies that show the same behavior towards their men. My point is, to let the ladies out there know, that no matter what they’ve been told, taught, heard, read or learned. WE MEN CAN’T READ MINDS FOR SHIT! So if something is bothering you, don’t go around the home slamming doors, cabinet doors, cups, dishes and pots. Let your man know what exactly is bothering you and you’ll see that most of the times, it is as simple as that.

As always, wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. I hope that you are enjoying it or have enjoyed it to the fullest.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Going Back To Basics

green wooden chair on white surface
Photo by Paula Schmidt on Pexels.com

I know! I know! I know! I know! I know! It has been a couple of days since I last posted on this here crazy, insane and boring blog for mine. It is a long story, but you might already know me… or not… But I always like to make them short, sweet and to the point.

The whole thing was that 1) I have two herniated disks in my lower back and I did a couple of things I should not have done over the long weekend, so my back went out and I have been out of work and at home taking pain meds, until I go back to the salt mine next Monday and 2) My wife and I have been spending more time together, because even if we give each other some space, we both felt that we were not spending enough time together. So there you have it my loyal 1.5 readers.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!