If you look at the picture that I provided with this post, it exactly depicts the way that I look at things around me. To regular people, when they look at the top portion of the picture, they just see a couple of eggs in a carton. But to my OCD brain, they are exactly 9 eggs, that are not in order and should be. So that really gets me fucking anxious, even as I write this post, I just want to reach into the picture and put them in order.
Then, when regular people look at the bottom portion of the picture, again! they will just see some eggs in a carton. But to my OCD brain, they are exactly 9 eggs, but this time, they are in order, the way that they should have been in the first place. You see, in my OCD world, everything has to be arranged in order, so it can make sense to me. If not, all that I see is chaos, which makes me anxious, because I feel the need to arrange everything in order, so it can make sense to me.
Right now I have been on and off crazy meds for at least 12 years. But I still remember the time when my ordering and arranging drove me fucking crazy. Don’t get me wrong, I still do it from time to time, but most of the times, I can give a rat’s ass and walk away. You see, my brain works different from someone who doesn’t suffers from OCD and I know it. The trick is, for me not to get stuck on stupid shit, like a broken record, to ignore them and keep on moving. I know it’s easier said that done, but you have to keep in mind, that I have been dealing with OCD my entire life, but got psychiatric help for the first time, when I was in my mid 30’s. It hasn’t been easy, but I have learned to live with it.
With that said! I’m Audi 5000 y’all!